Sunday, May 17, 2009

Diet Karma

I am starting to fade with this whole healthy lifestyle kick.  I am starting to make compromises with myself, cheating out on my gym days, enjoying forbidden snacks more frequently than I should.  It all came to a head last week for me. Diet Karma bit back.

From 8 May-16 May, I fell back into my life of terrible eating habits with out any activity.  I was riding high from my visit to my dietitian and figured a few indulgences were acceptable.  On Friday the 8th, I had a preview day at the University I am attending.  I started the day well,  passing on the doughnuts in favor of orange slices, I continued by skipping the chips at lunch and opting for a diet soda over my love of sugary-sweet Mountain Dew.  There was a break in the day with cookies and sugary snacks, and I left the building to go outside to avoid temptation.  Then the happy hour and dinner began.  Instead of going for a wise light beer or a Jack and Diet, I started sucking down sugary sweet Margaritas by the gallon, and was topping them off with shots of Patron, all while inhaling chicken tamales, nachos, taquitos and any other snack that passed by within a 5-foot radius. 

I had to take the Metra home after an evening of complete over-indulgence. I will spare you the details, but a great life lesson that I would like to share with you is that Tequila never, ever mixes with an hour-long train ride.  

Diet Karma-1, Cari-0

I had to wake up early the next morning to fly to Ohio to help my brother move to Chicago (Hooray!!!)  Obviously I did not get any workouts in, but I justified it that I was doing a lot of cleaning and moving, so that counted for something.  I ate like crap, but at least skipped on the fries and had either salads or the world's largest side of broccoli ever seen.  I drank more than was wise after the tequila incident, but I stuck with lite beer.  I helped unload a U-haul. Note- Soloflex has nothing on moving someone when it comes to a total body workout. I couldn't walk the next day, hence the reason I skipped the gym. If I ever need to get in shape quickly, I am getting a job at a moving company.  Anyway, all the activity versus all of the gluttony balanced out, as I came back without gaining any weight.

Diet Karma-1, Cari-1

That all would've been fine and dandy had I got back into my routine of working out and eating healthy, but it has been all to easy to slide back into sloth-dom.  However, Old Lady Diet Karma had a few tricks up her sleeve to get me back on track.  It all came to a head on Thursday.  I went to a Cubs game, and prefaced the game with a bloody mary and a few 9% beers, some stuffed aptly named Delirium.  Pre-game, I feasted on mini corn dogs and tater tots- not a vegetable in sight.  Except the celery soaking in my bloody mary.  The binge continued at Wrigley field as I started downing Old Styles like it was Holy Water.  I had a ball park frank.  I tried to eat a soft pretzel with cheese, but Diet Karma tried to warn me to slow down by somehow getting me to dump the entire cup of cheese down my leg, (Yes, it was Diet Karma and not the beer.) But I laughed in Diet Karma's face, and had some nachos and more beer post-game.   I got home around 1900, and decided around 2030 that I was hungry.  My fridge is packed full of veggies, fruits, and healthy options.  Loaded with lean meats, portioned salads, low-fat dips.  So what did I do?  Managed to find an old hot dog in the back of the deli drawer and made myself a Weinie Wink. 

Later that night, around 2300, Diet Karma decided that she has had enough of my ways and decided to get my attention once and for all...By bringing me an awful case of food poisoning from the old, smelly hot dog.  With every heave, I was reminded that a banana, a few tomatoes, or even some rice would have never done this to me.  I was betrayed by my favorite type of food- casing foods.  It will be quite sometime before I will be able to safely and comfortably enjoy a delicious red hot or keilbasa.  DAMN YOU, DIET KARMA! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?? Oh right, because I ate like a gorilla for a week with only going to the gym once.

Diet Karma-2, Cari-1

The worst part about this is how I manage to rationalize everything to myself.  Because after clearly being punished by an awful case of food poisoning, I still indulged in so much fried turkey, bacony beans, potato salad and chocolate cake this weekend under the logic that I expended so much on Thursday night that a slight binge was acceptable.  Some sort of twisted reverse bulimia concept.

However, I cannot let this behavior continue, so tomorrow I am getting back on track with my healthy living after a long slip into calorie heaven. I've been enjoying the good stuff in moderation, but it has been pure excess lately.  As a result of my immature and selfish actions, the thought of enjoying delicious sausages make me nauseous, which truly breaks my heart and makes me very sad inside.  So Diet Karma won this round and brought me back to my senses.

But it is not over between us, because grilling season is upon us and I am going to want a bratwurst.


  1. I'm glad you put a name to that condition. I love it: Diet Karma! I've had similar issues over the last two weeks from eating foods that I shouldn't have eaten. I've also fallen off the exercise bandwagon except for the two classes for which I pay. So maybe we should make a pact to get our butts back into the gym this week!

  2. I love reading your blog , you are awesome and doing such a great job!!