Monday, June 8, 2009

Progress Report 2

Despite the fact that I gripe about her, I must admit that I truly love my dietitian, Judy. She is so happy and supportive.  She is one of the first medical professionals that I can visit without fear of getting reprimanded or scolded. So often I go to the doctor and hear, "You need to eat less and lose weight," or "Smoking is not only expensive and stupid, but it will kill you," and the most frequent, "Cari, 15 drinks in one night on a regular basis does constitute a drinking problem, not a leisure hobby."

But I never get criticisms like that from Judy. During my most recent visit, I told her how I ate a whole lot of cookies the day before and she applauded my honesty.  I confessed that I ate cake and ice cream before noon one day and Judy shared that we all falter.  I love that I can be honest with her.  I imagine that is how Catholics feel after confessional, not that I would know as the only reason I'd ever attend Mass is for the free wafers and red wine.  Pretty sure they would kick me out as I would surely say, "Hey Padre, is this a Cabernet or a Merlot?"  I'm much too lazy to be Catholic, with all that kneeling and standing and Hail Marys. 

Anyway, I met with my dietitian this past week for our every 4-week meeting and was somewhat pleased with the results.  It was confirmed that I did hit that blessed milestone of 25 pounds.  Of it, 3.5 pounds was pure body fat.  Which again, begs the question, what is the other weight???  I really need to ask about that.  Is it due to my haircut? The fact I wore less accessories?  If anyone knows what else I am losing, please let me know.  My BMI went down another whole point, getting me closer to that BMI of less than 30 that I am working for, and my percentage of body fat went down another percentage point.  Exciting stuff.

Perhaps the thing I was most excited for was my lipids and glucose test.  My cholesterol went down by 10 whole points!  I was so excited! At the same time, I realized how grossly pathetic my life has became that I am about to turn cartwheels over my cholesterol.  Seriously, I am 25-years-old, living in the greatest city in America, and the most exciting thing in my life is that my triglycerides look good? Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  The low that my sad life has reached was even more exaggerated by how happy I was with my blood glucose test.  In early April I registered at a 105, which put me into pre-diabetic range. Receiving that news was what started this whole lifestyle overhaul, as my gene pool is unfortunately affected with diabetes.  Plus, I already have one disease I will have forever in the form of Grave's Disease, I surely don't need another, especially one like Diabetes.  Despite the fact that diabetes is becoming more common, evident by the number of commercials for handheld devices depicting people celebrating their freedom to test wherever while a snappy jazz tune plays, I don't want to join the ranks.  Because to me, diabetes will always be a disease represented by Wilford Brimley and his inability to pronounce the word. Note: Will someone explain to me why a celebrity spokesperson insists on calling it "Diabeeeeetis?" I don't get it.

Anyway, exciting news is that I am no longer pre-diabetic.  Prior to starting to change my life, I imagine my veins resembled the chocolate river from Willy Wonka.  But now I am sitting at a cool 100, which I imagine makes my veins more like thawed popsicles.  I need to get it lower, but progress is progress.  

I am noticing this lifestyle change in other areas too.  Before, I was a girl wearing an 18 but definitely should have been in a 20, as I lost feeling in my thighs for about 6 months due to squeezing myself into my pants. Just because I had to lie down to zip em up does not mean that they did not fit.  Now, I am a girl wearing an 18 but should probably be in a 16 as it looks like I am wearing a poopy diaper because my pants sag too much but I am entirely too cheap to buy new clothes.  Also, my fat face is looking better.  Before, it seemed as if I had a Michelin tire strapped to my chin.  However, it is starting to more closely resemble a rooster wattle.  Excellent.

Here are some other interesting tidbits I took away from my dietitian:

- An 8" taco shell is only 1 starch, whereas a 10" is 3 starches!  I don't understand it at all, I tried drawing myself diagrams to understand the logic but am not grasping it.
-VEGETABLES HAVE STARCH!  Obviously potatoes, But beans, peas and Corn count as starch and not veggies!  I feel so very, very betrayed.  So very violated.
-Despite the fact that they look like radishes and their namesake is from a tree, Buckeyes do not count as a vegetable serving.
-There is something out there called sugar-free syrup.  To me, it sounds like an anomaly of the universe.  How do you make something that is basically liquid sugar into something sugar-free?
-Wine is not a fruit serving despite that it comes from grapes.  Beer is not a vegetable despite that it comes from hops and grains.  Sadly, this is becoming something she has to stress to me at every meeting.


  1. Congrats to Cari on reaching a milestone! Love you!

  2. You're a nut (which has protein!)! Seriously though, 15 drinks? I LOVE the California Cosmos from CPK but halfway through one my face falls asleep and shortly thereafter, I'm drooling on the table, you must have the liver of steel!
    Congratulations and good work, keep it up!