Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Resolutions and Dating

Happy Belated New Year!  I hope that the year is off to a great start for those of you that are stalking my little corner of the intrawebs and that you are keeping your resolutions.

I have never had much success with keeping my New Year resolutions.  I typically tend to pick things that will require a lot more encouragement than changing the year on the date can give.  Almost always, I pick things like, "I'm going to lose 40 pounds," or "I'm going to limit myself to just getting tipsy one night a week," or "I'm going to be a nicer person."  I typically last a week or so then find myself binging on late-night pizza, ordered after I polished off at least one bottle of Cabernet, which gave me the general boozy sense of fearlessness to make bitchy comments to people.  Resolutions and I do not get along well. I do much better when I arbitrarily decide on a random Tuesday that I'm going to make a change, which is what I did when I lost 50 pounds and have successfully stuck with my goal of completing  The Modern Library's Top 100 English Novels by the time I am 30. Note: If you click the link, I am doing the Board's list, not the Reader's list.  Clearly the ballot box was stuffed by some Randian wackos.

This year, I decided to only make one hard resolution and follow it up with a few other more abstract ideas.  The hard and fast resolution is to floss more, which I have successfully done every day of 2012.  People look at me strange when I tell them this, but ask yourself, when was the last time you flossed 10 days in a row?  Exactly.  The more abstract ideas are to keep up on my blog more, primarily through sharing more personal details of my life. I was inspired to make this goal after stalking the blog written by a talented woman that I went to Ohio U with.  Kate's blog falls under my blanket category of, "Mommy Blogs," as she writes primarily about her adventures as a new mom with a son affectionately referred to as Monster.  The reason that I love Kate's blog so much is that she is brutally honest. So many of the "Mommy Blogs" that I read are nothing but praising and celebrating every time Offspring cries, eats, blinks, sleeps, etc. While I understand that their excitement is sincere, the rosy way in which they paint their lives annoy me as I know damned well there are moments that they probably want to hide in a closet with a bottle of tequila and breakdown.  Kate's blog tells about all of those details, expresses her struggles with managing a healthy marriage with a toddler and her concerns that her kid is falling behind in learning.  I find her candor and honesty to be so refreshing that I decided to take a cue from her and get a little more into the nitty gritty of my life this year.  Note:  Kate's amazing blog can be found here and I highly suggest you read the post, "It's a Sign" to see what I'm talking about.

So in addition to wanting to blog more on my personal life, I also made two other goals. First one was to not share so much with strangers.  I tend to over share.  And that one is out the window.  I tried it for a week, and it is not in my nature.  I'd much rather make people cringe with what I write/talk about than not entertain. And the other is to date.

Yep. I am vowing to date in 2012. And it terrifies me.  I was in a relationship with the same person for 11 years- my entire adult life, and damned near half of my entire life.  Last time that I "dated,"  I was still wearing a Varsity jacket, texting on cellphones did not exist, few people had ever even heard of Osama bin Laden, and I had not fully discovered the importance of facial hair maintenance. Big shout out to my Eastern European heritage for eyebrows that can double as valances and  an upper lip that can rival Tom Selleck's if left unattended. Times have changed, and so I have decided that I am going to embrace the change and put myself out there.  After hearing The Badger sing the praises of eHarmony.com, I jumped into the pool of on-line dating and set myself up on Match.com.  While I have no desire to get into another relationship right now (the thought of being in one literally makes my stomach twist,) I do want to meet new people and brush up on my dating skills so that when I am ready to possibly maybe perhaps consider the idea of maybe getting into a relationship I would be ready.  Note:  I am pretty open with my friends about the fact that I joined an on-line dating site, and it's amazing how many are on them and just did not share out of embarrassment. What's embarrassing about being proactive about pursuing what you want in life?  Granted, this is coming from a woman who's scale of what is embarrassing is incredibly skewed.  It's not easy to try to hit that high note on Eternal Flame at karaoke and do it without shame.

So I set up my profile on Match.com and assume that within hours I will just be flooded with messages of eligible men wanting to take me out.  After all, I selected a good variety of photos in which I not only look adorable and cute (duh) but also show my range of interests, from when I climbed Hancock Tower, pre-race shots, photos of Boris Hound, out of the golf course, etc. My profile was also well-written and witty.  Naturally the men would flock to me.

Naturally I was wrong.  Being on that site has been one of the most depressing ventures of my entire life.  Weeks passed without a wink or a message.  Being the proactive sassy lady I am, I shoot off a bunch of clever messages to potentials.  I check my phone furiously throughout the day waiting for replies.  Nothing.  The Badger told me that it's likely they just have not logged on and read my prose.  However, I can see if my messages are read and if someone has viewed my profile.  So not only are these guys reading my messages, they are then viewing me and actively making the choice not to send me a response.  Ouch.  Fortunately though, I have a pretty inflated sense of self and do not allow it to get me down too much. And it made me consider some of the gentlemen that I was passing up that might have something to offer, so I pledged to respond to all messages, regardless of whether I thought it was a good match.

The results have not been fruitful. Stay Tuned for some correspondence recaps and a review of my first First dates as a single lady.

1 comment:

  1. Oh gosh online dating...it's "supposed" to be so easy. Guys, gals, etc. looking to date or for love...all lined up and categorized. I ended up meeting three in person but only liked one enough to see a couple of more times. We stopped because he was so shy the conversation stalled, but it was a way to flex some flirt muscles.
    Enjoy...but don't worry I don't know anyone who's found it easy. (even those who have lots of "dates" with it)

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